Learning to Let Go

Joel as a baby

First Day 2010- 2011 School Year

    Being a parent is such a wonderful gift from God. It is a blessing. It is not an easy thing to do at times. There are times of heart aches in raising children, or in my case a child. I wouldn't change a thing for the world. Heartaches really in raising a child is really a good thing. It is a chance for children and parents to grow, change, learn, and even bond.

   When I first became a parent I thought the hardest heartaches was: the first time you leave your baby with a sitter, when your child is sick and you can not take it away, their first surgery, or even your first night without them. To me those are easy now; grant it at the time they were hard to deal with at first, and still at times they are still heartaches.

   To me the hardest thing so far is letting my son go. First, was letting him go to preschool, because it meant he was no longer a baby. I dealt with it, because it was really just a couple of hours. The first day of preschool all three years (due to October birthday) I had tears I will admit. I would think that the this year it would of been easier, but truthfully it was just as hard to leave him. Every year was an awesome year as he grew and learned more and more both physically and mentally. 

Last Day 2010-2011 School Year

First Day 2011- 2012 School Year

   Going into this school year I knew it was Joel's last year of preschool, as next year he will be going to kindergarten. First, and last day of school for Joel still brought tears to my eyes as I knew he was no longer my little boy (but he always will be no matter what). We have been blessed the last two years with the same teachers for preschool teachers at his main preschool. They have been great! They loved to challenge Joel, because he learns at a fast pace. This year we added preschool an extra preschool program in a way. He is involved in a program called "wrap around".  Where he goes to a daycare, and he had been involved in their preschool program there as well. He will be at the daycare this summer to keep him learning and on somewhat of a schedule to prep him for school next year.

Last Day 2011-2012 School Year

   Yesterday, I think was hardest heartache yet, but it prepared me for next fall. Yesterday, Joel had kindergarten clinic for a couple of hours. I really had been having a hard time over this whole taking him to public school thing. Truth is I hate public school. Maybe it is because all the horror stories I have heard how schools have changed, or maybe it is because my difficult school years are fearing it will happen to Joel. I wanted to home school Joel, or send him to a Christian private school, but I can not afford Christian private. I basically got talked out of home schooling Joel (still an option if I don't agree with public). 

Last Day 2012-2013 School Year

First Day 2012-2013 School Year

   Anyway I took Joel to his kindergarten clinic. I took him to see the nurse, because next year he will have to take his special milk to her for his lunch (got to love a child with allergies). Then we got in line to greet the teachers, so he could get his name tag, and number so he can go with the teacher he will have for the day. The teacher he had for the day was the one that put his stuff on him. Then she took his little hand in hers, and they started walking down the hallway (tears begin to fill my eyes). Boy was it hard to see him go from holding my hand to walking away with the teachers hand. All of a sudden Joel stopped dead in his tracks. He says, "Wait a minute." He looks back at me, and says "Mommy, I need a hug and a kiss." I quickly gave him a hug and a kiss; while holding back the tears. I had to quickly turn my back and walk away as the tears started to flow out of my eyes. 

   I don't care what people say, or how you try to prepare yourself for the day that your child goes to Kindergarten. You are never prepared enough. Like I said maybe it is being a single mom, and Joel being my one and only that I will ever have that makes it so hard right now. If I was like this when he had kindergarten clinic what am I going to be like the first day of kindergarten this fall when he gets on the big yellow bus, and is gone every day all day. I will probably have a whole box of tissues used that day.

   I am very proud of Joel. He has done very well, and he loves learning. He is already missing school. So if I am a little sappy this summer it is because this whole letting go of Joel is hard for me. I just have to put my trust in God, teachers, and staff to take care of Joel for me.

Enjoying the Science Geek in Us

  May 22, 2013 it was time to get our geek on. We went to the Science Center in Des Moines with his daycare group. We had so much fun. In the different rooms, and doing different things. In one room the children played with different mechanical things and objects. Joel had a blast with the ball thing that is pictured beside. He also enjoyed the conveyer belt system that took fake fruit and veggies up, down, and across to the other side. Joel loved to be the one turning the wheel to do part of it. They also had an area in the room that the children got to play with bubbles. It was a mess, but the they were having fun. 
   Some teeny boppers came in where all the little kids were playing which was actually for baby, toddlers, and parents only. They were kind of rude, and pushed the children out of the way so they could play with one of the discovery fun walls where you can make hand prints, and even face prints by pushing your hand on this spiky thing. Finally they left, and the kids could play with it again. We actually went into the room and let the kids play twice.
  Next, we went into this other room which the children had a chance to create things, and do different tests. There was a water fall thing where you had to try to stop the flow of water current. It was truly difficult. They could make and race lego cars. They could launch balls in different tunnels, and so many things really that was fun. The coolest thing in the room that the children like the most was making and launching paper rockets. The adults helped the children make the rockets. While we were making rockets so were the rude teenagers from the previous room. They were making their rockets big, and if they didn't go as far as they wanted them to go, the they would go back to the drawing board. The funny thing was the preschool daycare kids rockets were going further than the teeny boppers. Joel's was one of them that did. Joel loved his rocket, and we even brought it home.

    Then there was a room that had different reptiles in the room that can be found all over Iowa. Joel was in heaven because he loves reptiles. Truthfully it was not my favorite room, because there were snakes. Good thing there is glass between us and them. Also in the room they have the Channel 13 extra weather room so the children got to see things including standing on the stage with the green background behind them, and seeing themselves on the screen with the weather behind them. 
  Over all it was a very fun experience, and I can not wait to go back again so we can see everything thing else we did not see. Joel can not wait to go back either.
 

Field Trip to Kindergarten

  It is so hard to believe that Joel is done with preschool. Really after basically 3 years of preschool (due to him having an October birthday) he better be ready. Tell the truth I think I am the one having trouble with the thought that next fall he will be a kindergartener. It still seems like yesterday I brought him home from the hospital from being born. The time has really gone by so fast. I am proud of my little guy. He has really done well, and is a smart little whip. We are going to miss his wonderful teachers that he has had the last couple of years. The cool thing is Mrs. G. will be starting to teach 1st grade this fall so Joel will see her again, and maybe even have her as a teacher in the future.
   Anyway Joel's preschool class at Little Huskies North took a trip to see kindergarten. Many of the parents also got to go. We got to eat lunch in the cafeteria, and tour different areas of the school: library, gym, art room, music room, science room, and even a classroom. The lunch sucked like no other, but just being with my son meant the world to me, and seeing him be with his friends. Anyway while we were in one of the classrooms the kids got to sit in the desks, and explore the room. It was hard to see my son sit in the desk, because he looked grown up. Like I said I am not ready emotionally. As we were walking out of the room Joel really had to drive my emotions worse (It made tears fill my eye, but didn't cry). He looked at me and said, "Mommy, I am ready for this now!" I sucked it up and said, "Do you mean the rest of the tour?" He said, "No, Mom I am ready for kindergarten now." I did everything not to lose my emotions right then and there. I ended up waiting until the tour was done, and I was in my car alone (Joel went back to preschool with his friends and teachers).
   Yes, it took me a week to get this wrote. Every time I typed it out I would have tears. I am glad that he feels comfortable going. Which is a good feeling for this Mom. It is hard letting go, but I have to. I can't sit and worry about him being there. I have to put my trust in God, and the teachers/ staff to protect him next year. 
   Today, Joel goes back to the elementary school for his 2 hour kindergarten clinic. This time I don't get to stay. Instead I have to walk away from my little guy while he is there (tears just thinking of it). I have to tell myself it is a taste of having to let go next year when he goes to kindergarten. Maybe it is because he is my 1st and only child which is making it really hard.
  Lord be with my little guy today!

Joel Graduates Preschool

  Well, it is official Joel is a preschool graduate. He graduated from his preschool at daycare Stepping Stones May 3, 2013. We are so proud of him. His Grandma Karen, Grandma T., his godparents, and I were there to enjoy the big night for him, and his friends. Joel attend Stepping Stones Daycare when he doesn't have regular preschool. He will be at Stepping Stones off and on still for a while. They are all neat people (little bias since I use to work there). Thank you to all of the daycare staff in helping nurture Joel to become who he is today. They have been excellent to take him at whim at times due to circumstances.
   Joel will graduate May 23, 2013 from his regular preschool. Little Huskies North Preschool. Joel has been blessed the last couple of years there as well with wonderful teachers who have cared for him. I am really going to miss them. Joel will have a chance again to have Mrs. G. again as she will become one of the 1st grade teachers next year. So, I will have to post the upcoming pictures later to the blog of things this month that he will be doing.
   To tell the truth this mom is not ready for him to go to kindergarten next year. It will be a big change for both of us. I know he will do fine. I was at one time thinking about homeschooling him, but it will not be possible. I am going to see how things go in public school, and if I don't agree I will pull him out and home school him in the future. He needs the interaction with other children anyway, and health wise I need the breaks at times.
  Mommy is proud of you Joel! May the Lord bless you next year in kindergarten!

April Fun 2012

April was filled with so much fun. One of the fun things was Joel having fun doing things out and about the community. Our local Pizza Hut every Thursday has been hosting Story Teller night for families. Each week is a different reader from the community. We went to one. It was one of the former teachers from Winterset and well known guy from the community Jerry Triplett. He read "Good Night Moon." Joel had a blast with it. He got to not only enjoy it with me, but his godparents as well.

  Every Saturday for the month of April we got to enjoy Family Story Learning at the Library. It was a family fun thing together. Joel received a new book every week. While he did crafts, I got to learn new techniques on reading, and different books. After we were done each week learning we went to "Anything Sweet and More" in town for some food fun with the owner Lisa. She let the kids decorate cupcakes, pretzels, and more to go along with the theme of the book. Joel had lots of fun learning, meeting new children, and getting to expand his reading fun.

One Saturday one of my friend's daughters had a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses in Des Moines. We went a little early so we could just spend some time just the two of us. Joel wanted to go into the showroom while no one was there and dance to the music. It was so cute. He had so much fun. I was so proud of him. He was really well behaved. He even bought all the things for the birthday girl with a certain amount of money given to him. He sat by the birthday girl (he calls her his girlfriend). He had a blast playing games. After the the party we met up with one of my other friends. We went out to eat, and to the mall. My friend and I got a kick out of Joel with a manaquin at JC Penny's. He wanted his picture taken with this little girl manaquin. I about cried with what he told me. Joel said, "Mommy, take my picture with this girl." I asked him afterwards why. He said, "I always wanted a brother or sister. She is my pretend little sister. Nice thing is she can't talk so I don't have to listen to yucky girl talk." Lol he is so fun.

 Finally the weather started getting nice in April off and on. Joel was so happy the day he could get his bike out and ride around on. He loves to ride his bike. I didn't think he would remember how to ride without training wheels, because it wasn't very long after we took off the training wheels last year that we put up the bike for the summer. So, we are looking forward to good sunny days this spring and summer this year so he can get out and ride his bike.

  We are still enjoying our Mom and Son dates. It has really helped us tremendously. It gets to focus on having fun, and not just going on as usual. We have enjoyed pizza and movie night, going out to eat, PS2 and popcorn fun, and the last Saturday of the month the weather was so awesome we pulled some weeds out of the flower/garden beds, and then grilled outside while enjoying the sun on our patio. The dates with my son has given me a chance to forget about my health issues, and just be a mom having fun with my son. We have learned so much about each other. Joel has learned that his Mommy can do fun things with him that don't bother her heart. I have also learned a lot about my son on our dates. Joel loves exploring nature, to learn what everything is about, and that he knows a lot already (thank you to Bill Nye and awesome teachers).He also does not like littering at all. He is all about reduce, reuse, and recycle to save everything in nature. I have also learned that he is becoming okay with the fact that his biological father does not have a care in the world about him, and that he is blessed to have a wonderful Mom who loves him very much and would give him the world if she could. His love for Jesus is also growing. Our lives are focused on that God comes first. I thank God everyday for my little blessing of joy, and I am so greatful that my son has also found love in Jesus.